The Bar

The Bar is a theoretical location where karaoke parties are held. This bar is also used for, you know, drinking? It is for all walks of kin. Not only Hetalia kins were there.

The Worst Karaoke Night of 2020
I'm going to recall as much as I can. All of the kins in the Kinverse gather at a non-descript bar to sing previously-decided karaoke songs. Arthur Kirkland got incredibly drunk and was left at the bar, along with Gilbert Bielschmidt. Yao Wang was driving the Uber to and from the bar. Here are some snippets from the night.

John Watson sings 'Hopelessly Devoted to You'
john is stumbling on the stage as he sings this

HES LIKE TALK SINGING

hes pointing to sherlock

ok but lets switch the scene: hes in a kebab shop

THERES NOT MUCH TUNE AND HE KEEPS APOLOGISING FOR FUCKING UP THE TUNE

he absolutely pointing to sherlock

the idea of john and sherlock hitting up the kebab shop after the pub has really sent me

i feel he also stops to try and explain to the crowd who sherlock is

SHHHERLOCK... HES RRIGHT TH- YOU SEE HIM? THE COAT..., THE COA-HAHAHHAAA!!! THE COAT-- HOPELESSLY DDEV-- AHHAAH=--"

"sorry, just, that man over there. That man-" starts crying

HE JUST ENDS UP CRYING

AND WALKING OFF STAGE

Alfred sings '5, 6, 7, 8'
HIS VOICE WAS SUPERIMPOSED OVER THE COUNT

FELI FISTPUMPING IN THE CROWD

has alfred got a cowboy hat on (yeah of course he does)

he has assless chaps

arthur just sat there with a stone cold expression

ARTHUR THINKING ABT WHAT HE RAISED

Arthur sings 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'
EVERYNOWANDTHENIGETALITTLEBITLONELYAN

HE SINGS BBOTH PARTS

CUZ NO ONE ELSE WOULD

FRANCIS SHOUTING THE MENS PARTS BACK AT HIM FROM THE AUDIENCE

I WAS JUST THINKING! FRANCIS! DOES THE MENS BIT!

MATTHEW DRINKING HEAVILY ,

MATTHEW JUST LEAVES.

italy is just watching with a sort of like awkward smile

MATTHEW BEGGING AL TO DRIVE THEM HOME

he looks to germany like "is he okay?"

Prussia has his phone out as a lighter

he has a real lighter

LUD IIS LIKE

PUSHING HIS HAND DOWN

ARTHUR FULL ON CRYING ON STAGE

alfred in the bathroom begging for a bump of coke from a stranger like "you dont understand thats my dad out there please i need this

EVERYONE IS WINCING IN UNISON

ITS JUST SAD

(i think i actually might start crying on arthur's behalf)

ok but now he starts air guitar

CRINGE CHAMP

KNEE SLIDES

LIKE A FUCKING SCHOOL DISCO

SOEMOEN TRIES TO GET HIM OFF STAGE

AMERICA: DESPERATE TO OVERDOSE

MATTHEW: HAS BOOKED A CAB FOR HIMSELF

"I WAS A FUCKING PIRATE YOU KNOW!"

HIS VOICE BREAKS

FRANCIS IS PULLING HIM DOWN

ITALY IS NOW SINGING ALONG WITH HIM FOR MORALE

the bouncer has intervened with a water

feliciano: this is so heartwarming

Arthur: I was removed from the bar.

Feliciano sings 'Barbie Girl'
IS GERMANY DOING THE KEN PARTS

HE LOOKS SO TIRED

PRUSSIA TRIES TO TAKE OVER WHEN HE LOOKS RELUCTANT

dont forgET THE FEATHER BOA

arthur says soemthing homophobic at this point

PRUSSIA IS SENT OUT THE WINDOW

"THIS IS SUCH A POOF SONG!"

"Arthur please, mon cher"

"Arthur, you are an homosexual, non?"

"AND WHAT ABOUT IT!"

ITALY AND GERMANY ARE LIKE FACING EACH OTHER RLLY CLOSE WHEN THIS PART IS PLAYING

at this point alfred is asking matthew if he can get in the cab and matthew is saying no bc hes clearly high and doesnt want to get charged extra or fined if he pukes.

the bouncer has hung himself

what do you mean, ludwig is the bouncer he's on stage

AT THIS POINT ITALY IS SAUNTERING OFF OF THE STAGE AND LUDWIG IS TRYING TO HOLD HIM BACK

BUT ITALY CONTINUES NONETHELESS TO WALK THROUGH THE CROWD

HE HAS SEEN SOMEONE PRETTY AND IS COMPLETELY DISTRACTED

ARTHUR SITTING IN HIS SEAT: :(

HE IS ATTEMPTING TO FLIRT WITH HIS OWN REFLECTION

H=WHAT THE HELL AND FUCK.

LUDWIG IS NOW DRAGGING HIM BACK ONSTAGE

BY THE SCRUFF OF THE NECK

"WELL BARBIE I WISH YU WOULD FUCKING STOP"

Sherlock Holmes sings 'Sexy and I Know It'
i have to say this is very slightly prussiacore

he would be loving this.

John: Oh, Jesus Christ.

SHERLOCK VOGUES

HE THROWS A SHOE INTO THE CROWD

AFTER HOPPING MADLY TRYING TO GET IT OFF

is italy watcing this right now.

I HOPE NOT

I COVER HIS EYES

arthur and sherlock duet

SHERLOCK SHERLOCK NO PL-

JOHN PULLED HIM OFF STAGE

LESTRADE IS BOOING AS HE'S PULLED AWAY

HE WAS TRYING TO FILM IT FOR HIS HUSBAND

"LOOK AT THIS TOOL I HAVE TO WORK WITH"

sherlock triumphantly makes his way back to the stage

to finish the song

john stood at the side wiht his arms crossed

JOHN IS SHOUTING

HE GETS BACK JUST FOR THE LAST LINE

JOHN RUGBY TACKLES HIM TO THE GROUND

Patton Sanders sings 'Juice'
i dont want patton to be in the same club as these people .HAHAHAHA

HES LIKE NOT RLLY DRUNK AT ALL HES JUST HAVING A GOOD TIME

ok first off everyone would be mad supporting this

very campy as he does this

HE POINTS TO JANUS

BITCH YOU LIED!

DO NOT BLAME IT ON THE FUCKING -

NOT THE GOOSE!

HES HOLDING LIKE A FUCKING. JUICE CARTON

JANUS: :D > :(

so does patton say the n wor

NO

ABSDHUSIHOFJDS

IM GONAN LOSE IT

HE GOES QUIET FOR THE WHOLE LIN

everyone accepts this bc hes not drunk. supporting and wholesome i think!

HE POINTS TO JANUS

janus: please

LOOOL EVERYONE SAT THERE LIKE

logan making notes

Steven Universe sings 'Midnight Memories'
S-STEVEN?!

WHO IS STRAINING THROUGH THE ENTIRE THING

I WILL TELL YOU WHEN HE STARTS CRYING

steven universe but hes on the verge of suicide

HE DOES THE BREATHING TOO

HE STARTS GLOWING PINK AS HES STRAINING

HE STARTS TO CRY.

we all do that bro, its called blushing

THIS IS WHERE HE CRIES

THIS IS WHERE HE CRIES!

mOOOOOOooOOOOOO

OOOOOOO

AAUUUUUHHHH

Ryland Tate sings 'Neon Genesis Evangelion'
hes really going for it

alex is trying to drag him offstage

Tony Stark sings 'Back in Black'
sloshed out of his fucking mind

he stumbles on

HES DOING AIRR GUITAR

KEEPS DROPPING THE MIC

HE IS IN THE IRON MAN SUIT

NONO HE CALLS IT IN HALFWAY THROUGH

THE BITS ARE JUST FLYING AT HIM

REALLY UNCOORDINATED THOUGH

THEY KEEP MISSING BECAUSE HES FLAILING

HE JUST KEEPS ALMOST FALLIG OVER

HOW FUCKED IS THIS GUY

HE WAKES UP THE NEXT MORNING WITH NO RECOLLECTION

LOKI IS MAING THE STUMBLING WORSE

on a scale of poppee who got kicked out for being underage to arthur kirkland-

Kuroo Tetsurou sings 'Wannabe'
I ALSO PROPOSE ALL OF THE HETALIA KINS SINGING THIS TOGETHER

how drunk is kuroo.

Um. not very i dont think

yeah he isn't drunk for this at all lmao

kenma looks very unhappy in the backSKJDNFKSJDNF

i really really really really wanna be prime minister

SLAM YOUR BREXIT DOWN

Popee and Kedamono sing 'Tequila'
OH ITS POPEE AND KEDAMONO

THIS IS SO FUNNY

the way theres just no ...nothing.

this song sends me into fucking hysteris

this song but its popee being pulled out of the club

WHERE IS TEQUILA THAT WE KNOW AND L

tonight we listen to the musical bit of tequila

and vibe

honestly keda drunk is such a vibe

Alfred, Arthur and Feliciano sing 'The Fast Food Song'
OH YEAH BABYYYYYYYY

THATS ALFRED

AAAAAA PIZA HUT A PIZZA HUT C

ENGLAND IS NOT HAPPY TO BE HERE

WE DOIN THE DANCE BOYS!

HES DOING IT ANYWAY!

ITALY DOESNT RLLY KNOW THE DANCE BUT HES LEARNING MID SONG

ENGLAND AGREEING TO DO IT ON THE BASIS THAT HE WILL BE BOUGHT A DRINK AFTER

ONE? PLEASE THERES AT LEAST THREE ON THE TABLE

OK FINE, ROUND OF SHOTS.

italy was the one that yelled hotdog

HOTDOG!!!:D

despite none of those places doing hotdogs...

by this point the bar was meant to have closed half an hour ago

Roman Sanders sings 'Roman's Revenge'
oh god

me: trying to get ready for bed

this song: I SAID ARE YOU READY BITCHHHH

RUH RUH

FUCK THIS RLLY IS HIM

THIS BUT ITS POINTED AND HES ON THE FLOOR

BARS...BARS!

U NEED A JOB

patton is like "should i go help him

NO NO

LET HIM GO... LOOOOL

wuh wuh

IM SCHAKING

WUH UWH

DUDE IM LAUHGIN SO HARD

OMG EMINEM IS IN THAT?!

VIRGIL GEETS UP

FUCK

THANKS VIRGIL

EMINIEM IS HERE?

oH FUCK MAYBE REMUS

ISNTEAD OF VIRGIL

WHEN REMUS AND ROMAN START GETTING ON ITS TIME TO GO HOME LOOOOL

he does not say th-

he doesnt but remus might

this is exaclty the point in the night you would go home as well.

Getting into the Taxi
ok guys im calling a cab rn

matthew in the corner calling a cab

alfred: passed out

arthur: passedo ut

WHOS STILL STANDING

ROMAN, APPARENTLY

feliciano hasn't lefT ODOSUIHFBSDJ

WHAT UWHIAEJKFASDFHASDUIFHASJKDFASDJFASDFKL

[Roman Holiday begins to play.]

THE DJ'S GONE MAD

THE DJ FELL ASLEEP LOOOL

tony left immediately after his set

ryland is still there.

alfred is still awake purely propped up by either arthur who is passed out or matthew who is completely sober and has been asking to leave since 10 minutes after they arrived

feliciano is still there but he's like almost asleep

germany went home with prussia

alfred is defintiely yelling something at feli who cant make out a single word

feli sleepily looking at alfred like "whhUAh???" he like stands up and immediately falls over

matthew has [REDACTED]core levels of seething. relcutantly offers to let feli in the cab.

as long as he promises not to puke WUEHFASJ

francis takes the dj booth

[Paris is Indeed Splendid begins to play.]

sorry but by this time in the night

arthur has thrown up once if not more times

FELI IMMEDIATELY GETS UP

HE GOES TO SUPPORT FRANCE

ARTHUR IS SLUMPED AT A TABLE MUMBLING

ITALY IS BEING A SUPPORTIVE BROTHER

EVERYONE TAKING TURNS TO PULL ARTHURS HAIR OUT OF HIS FACE/RUB HIS BACK/OFFER HIM WATER

EVEN THOUGH HE DOES NOT UNDERSTAMD WHAT IS HAPPENING

Prussia slaps englands back and makes some joke about being shit at holding his liquor

It does not matter that arthur drank four times more thna anyoen else

I THOUGHT PRUSSIA WENT HOME WITH GERMANY IM CRYING

HE SNEAKS BACK IN

alfred: just do the coke itll sober you up, please

It is at this pount that he challenges prussia to a drinking competiton

WE ARE LEAVING WITHOUT HIM.

FELI CAN HAVE HIS SEAT IN THE CAB.

[Traditionelle Musette begins to play.]

FRANCE PLEASE

WHERE IS ALFRED

DRUNK YELLING TO FELICIANO ABOUT SOMETHING

FELI'S DISTRACTED BY FRANCE

WHO IS ABOUT TO START TAKING CLOTHES OF AND GET SNEWUL

SENSUAL

SORRY

CANT TYPE

IM PANICKING

OK GUYS LETS ATTACK FRANCE

IVE HAD AN IDEA

AND IT MIGHT BE A BIT LEFT FIELD

OH HE DOES A PROPER LIL STRIP SHOW

HE HAS NIPPLE TASSLES

ALFRED FUCKING YELLING TO ITALY

"GET IN THE FUCKING CAB"

ITALY FINALLY TURNING AROUND AND YELLING BACK

GERMNAY SILENTLY SNAPS FRAMCES NECK

ok wait thats a point. which kins have been injured in the course of the night

ITALY HAVING A NOSEBLEED

ARHUTR BEATING UP FRANCE

arthur has a black eye at this point in the night not because of a fight but because he walked into a post

He also did get in a fight.

true but you shouldve seen the other guy

Loki tried to start a fight but thor refused to le tit fly

LE TIT FLY

The Raccoon definitely BBDJFJRJRB GUYS

IS THE CAB THERE YET

WHERE????

[O Fortuna begins to play.]

THE CAB HAS BEEN THERE FOR 10 MINUTES

MATTHEW IS SCREAMING

THIS SONG IS MATTHEW TRYING TO LOAD EVERYONE INTO THE CAB

AT THE SPLIT SECOND FELI GETS A NOSEBLEED

PRUSSIAS HEAD HITS THE TABLE IN SLOW MOTION AS HEBLOSES THE DRINKING COMPETITION AND PASSES OJT

MATTHEW PUSHING ALFRED INTO THE CAR AND "ACCIDENTALLY" HITTING HIS HEAD ON THE DOORFRAME BC HES BEING FUCKING ANNOYING >>>>>>

ITALY IS NOW STUMBLING TOWARDS ALFRED TO SEE WHAT HE WAS SAYING

ARTHUR AND GIL ARE SPENDING THE NIGHT IN THE DRUNK TANK.

IS ANYONE GOING BQCO FOR ENGLADN? BECAUSE HE IS NOT GETTING HINSELF HOME

NO ONE IS FUCKING GOING BACK

WHAT ABOUT FRANCIS

FRANCIS BAILS THEM OUT

THIS IS THE MUSIC AS ARTHUR MAKES A BREAK FOR IT DOWN THE STREET

THIS SONG BUT ITS FELI TRYING TO WALK BACK THRU THE BAR TOWARDS THE CAB WITHOUT STACKING IT AND BREAKING HIS FACE

HE FALLS. OVER AND THROWS UP

alfred the whole night: no its fine i feel fine shut up

alfred the second he sits in the cab: fuck

ARTHURS NIGHT BEGINS

ARTHUR HAIR OF THE DOG STYLE

ITALY STARTING TO LIKE PANIC THAT HE CANT FEEL HIS LEGS BUT HES OVERREACTING

matthew realising that hes going to have to let everyone stay over w him bc they cant look after themselves all night

and that hes gonna have to pay a charge for puke in the cab seat

and that francis arthur and gil are likely dead.

people who show up to the meeting the next morning: lud

matthew fucking slinging feliciano into the cab

MATTHEW SLINGING FELI IN THE CAB AND ALFRED BEING SURPRISED TO SEE HIM HAVING FORGOTEN THE CONVERSATION THEY HAD 5 MINUTES BEFORE ABT GETTING IN THE CAB

"FELICIANO, I DIDNT KNOW YO WERE HERE!"

FELICIANO, STARTING TO FEEL LIKE HE CANT FEEL HIS LEGS: HAHA...YEAH..

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING"

EVERYONE SCREAMING REALISING ARTHUR IS IN THE TRUNK

He didnt make it to the cab

THE CABBIE FUCKING SCREECHING ACROSS THE STREETS

ARTHURS CLINGING TO THE BACK AND BANGING ON THE TREAR WINDOW

the cab driver is actually china

FELI TURNING AROUND, SEEING HIM AND NEARLY PASSING TF OUT

matthew thought he called a cab. infact he just called yao

everyone talking to hm as if hes a cab driver

yao: i literally know all of you

al and feli: hahaha...yeahhhh

yao just tryna make some cash on the side hustle has been ferrying everyone else back and forth all night for ridiculous rates

feli: hey you kinda looka like dis guy i know ahaha...

alfred: thats racist

"THATS RACIST" (THROWS UP ON THE CAB FLOOR)

ARTHUR FLYING OFF THE BACK OF THE CAB:

HE FLIES DOWN THE EXACT SPOT PRUSSIA MADE IT TO BEFORE PASSING OUT LOOL

feliciano: hey guys did you hear something

i. i want to say logan gets all the sides home but lik. e

i honestly think theyre just left for dead there man

i think maybe patton drives them home

no one comes back from nightcore roman holiday

but they forget roman and have to turn back

AND REMUS

BOTH OF THEM IN THE EMPTY BAR: ....

PATTON FEELING RLY BAD FOR FORGETTING VS EVERYONE ELSE WHO WILL NEVER REMEMBER THIS NIGHT

glad to hear russia is nowehrer to be seen on this night

dont worry abt where he is.

HE WAS SPIKED THE SECOND HE WALKED IN THE DOOR :)

alfred laced his drink with PCP

NOT FUCKING PCP

wish i could be like my kins who left the bar hours ago:/ LOOOL

The End of the Night
[Las Ketchup begins to play.]

ALFRED AND FELI BUTCHERING THIS SONG WHILE STARING DIRECTLY AT ANTONIO >

whos done mr brightside.

someones gotta have.

probably alfred

REQUESTING SONGS FROM YAO WHO IGNROES THEM SO THEY PULL UP SPOTIFY

i just know arthur sang sweet caroline

i like to think they would go back for arthur but lets be hoenst.

maybe hes asleep in the trunk

LETS BE REALISTIC! THEY WOULD NOT.

we'll never know cos we never checked

when one of ur many deaths as an immortal being is suffocating in a trunk after a night out

francis and prussia are at the bar?

i think prussia is dead in a ditch as well

germany is sat in the front with yao

and francis is probably like. got a cab home and doing some weird hangover cure drink so he can rescue them in the morning

GERMANY COMING BACK FOR FELI AND REALISING HE HAS A WHOLE BAND OF IDIOTS TO CONTEND WITH

yao owns an uber xl

yao doing uber on the side despite being

- a nation

- 4000 years old

- not poor

the lights turn out

yao crashes the uber

popee keda and papi arrive home safely LOOL

sudednly popee and kedamono are in the car

and papi is driving

They both fall asleep in the car.

keda coming to terms w the fact that when popee asked him for a drink and said tht he definitely hadnt drunk anything at all yet it was probably a lie

keda coming to terms w the fact he has to work the next day WIEUHFASDJF

papi failing a breathalyser test open rp: