Alfred F. Jones

Alfred F. Jones is a character from the Hetalia series. He is one of the main characters in the Kinverse. Known to be arrogant, annoying and loud (i-), he is a very lovable character. He has rampant unmedicated ADHD and is double cheeked up 24/7.



Does he fuck? Hey man I'm just happy to be here. Tops as fuck but not in a BDSM way (most of the time). Honestly, probably just happy to get laid and is assumed to top, but would maybe bottom 'if pushed'. The Government is golding back the Alfred-topping-sometimes-bottoming information from you!

Origin
The kin Alfred was identified immediately after watching the Hetalia series. Like [REDACTED], he shares a love of hamburgers, especially those from Five Guys.

Burger rating
this article is being censored by fascist feli i would NEVER capitalise the d in mcdonalds


 * Five Guys
 * 10/10, fucking smacks every time, honestly and I can't stress this enough it might be the most godly thing to enter my mouth in centuries. Guys and I cannot stress this enough please just get one burger.
 * McDonalds
 * 9/10, she's cheap, she does the job and she tastes damn good too.
 * Burger King
 * 6/10, its a good burger....but why is so expensive?:/ and whats with the huge fat genetically enhanced beefy tomatoes? like relax.
 * KFC
 * 8/10, man in all honesty these burgers are underrated as fuck, chicken burgers deserve so much more hype.
 * Popeyes
 * 4/10, maybe because I only eat these hoes at 3am at the airport but why are they so small?
 * Favourite Chicken
 * 4.5/10, it is what it is. it needs more sauce but it has a lot of meat for such a small burger and its also 1am and i just really needed something you know.
 * Shake Shack
 * 3/10, also tiny as hell at least popeyes has the bonus of tasting pretty good SS has no excuse I could eat these like a breakfast cereal.
 * GBK
 * 0/10, insult to burgers everywhere.

Canonmates

 * Arthur Kirkland
 * Ivan Braginski
 * Feliciano Vargas
 * Ludwig van Bielschmidt